I love how beautiful girls are when they cry..
Gay club last night what an amazing environment I love how many different type of people go there a lot more straight guys then I thought lol I just love being able to dance with my girls without constantly being grabbed at by d bags lesbians and gay guys are so much more curtious. I'm happy my girl J and I are talking again I missed her. Im really worried about danielle jess and kelsey though they were supposed to go along last night but couldn't because of a family emergency and danielle's status this morning was crushed. Yesterday she didnt work but said she had to stay with her papa because her aunt had to work I guess he is in bad shape I hope everything is okay I care about those girls a lot... It really hurts me when people in my life are upset I care so much about all of my friends...
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Complicated
I've managed to make my life complicated again. I wish when I moved down here i left everything behind... I wish when I moved down here I would have burned all bridges.. life here is so prefect and effortless having to deal with stuff back up north seems like such a pain in the ass that I dont feel like dealing with anymore... but is it worth throwing away?
Friday, January 16, 2009
Something to say
I cant think of anything...
How do you tell someone that you need to let go when you are the only thing holding them together?
I hate how hard life is most of the time.
Pandora.com is amazing
Ps here is a better picture of my tattoo
How do you tell someone that you need to let go when you are the only thing holding them together?
I hate how hard life is most of the time.
Pandora.com is amazing
Ps here is a better picture of my tattoo
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Nothing really
There is a boy laying in the bed beside me right now... (the bed that is beside where I'm sitting. I'm not in the bed beside him.) He loves me more then anything in his world.. (I meant to say his not this) I love him too just as much. What do you do when someone is ready to give you them self forever and you want that you want forever with that person you just don't want it right now...? Content with how things are he's all I want the way he is. I'm glade he isn't trying to settle down. Im glade he isn't rushing me into anything. He just wants me in his life and I just want him in mine. How perfect we are...
It hurts so bad that we are so perfect and I'm still waiting for someone else. Someone I can never have again. What a tragedy life can be.
It hurts so bad that we are so perfect and I'm still waiting for someone else. Someone I can never have again. What a tragedy life can be.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Half My Heart
Today was my Birthday and from 12am on the dot it was amazing Derek gave me a card which was REALLY cute it's what was inside of it I wasn't expecting.
He KNEW I didn't have enough money to get the tattoo on my ankle that I wanted to get for Curtis. I open the card and $50 falls out.. I must have done something right to deserve him in my life.. Really. Everyone in the apartment said Happy Birthday my phone rang off the hook with texts and calls ...
This morning Derek took me to the mall so I could get myself something cute to wear to B-more this weekend. Then we went to breakfast and I went home because he had to work.
The only shitty part of the day was when my dad told me he couldn't take me to get ID which PISSED me off because I told him 3 days ago 2 days ago AND yesterday about it soooo I was crying and all upset. My sister, Brandi Jo Keller who I love more then any family member I have took me to get my I.D. and took me to get my tattoo.. I love her end of story.
All I wanted for my birthday was an ID and a tattoo and I got both.. thanks to Derek and my sister
Bless the new year
He KNEW I didn't have enough money to get the tattoo on my ankle that I wanted to get for Curtis. I open the card and $50 falls out.. I must have done something right to deserve him in my life.. Really. Everyone in the apartment said Happy Birthday my phone rang off the hook with texts and calls ...
This morning Derek took me to the mall so I could get myself something cute to wear to B-more this weekend. Then we went to breakfast and I went home because he had to work.
The only shitty part of the day was when my dad told me he couldn't take me to get ID which PISSED me off because I told him 3 days ago 2 days ago AND yesterday about it soooo I was crying and all upset. My sister, Brandi Jo Keller who I love more then any family member I have took me to get my I.D. and took me to get my tattoo.. I love her end of story.
All I wanted for my birthday was an ID and a tattoo and I got both.. thanks to Derek and my sister
Bless the new year
Monday, January 5, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
SOOO...
Monday Monday
Eagles won the 1st play off game yesterday.. We are all very proud..
Today is Monday and I hate it nothing to do today I should clean or something like that but what's the point really ugg
Tomorrow I have to meet with my ex.. I hate that. We're going to the SS office to have my name changed ... then to get me a new ID then lunch I guess My stomach hurts thinking about having to actually hold conversation with him after everything
Wed is my birthday and I was supposed to go get my tattoo for Curtis but now I don't think I'll have enough money because Saturday I'm going to Baltimore for my birthday and want to have money for that even though I was told that I shouldn't worry about money I don't like people paying for everything
Chris Ryan and I are going and HOPEFULLY Jess or Julia because they BOTH bailed on me on New Years so this is pretty much the deciding factor in my decision on if I should just forget everyone back up north and focus on my friends here or if I should still make the effort in trying to remain friends with everyone back up there ... Chris not included
The only thing I like about the situation with my ex is knowing that at any point in time I can just up and say.. I wanna leave and go live in South Carolina... with ease. I stay for Chris... I have a deep attachment to him but am often annoyed at/with him because no matter how much of a bitch I am he always says sorry... Ugg I hate how he lets me treat him and I hate how I do.. It's only somtimes I never use him or take him for granted I appericate him more then anyone or anything sometimes I just hate him for how nice he is and I'm mean.. sick isn't is sometimes I hate the way my brain works
Monday Monday
Eagles won the 1st play off game yesterday.. We are all very proud..
Today is Monday and I hate it nothing to do today I should clean or something like that but what's the point really ugg
Tomorrow I have to meet with my ex.. I hate that. We're going to the SS office to have my name changed ... then to get me a new ID then lunch I guess My stomach hurts thinking about having to actually hold conversation with him after everything
Wed is my birthday and I was supposed to go get my tattoo for Curtis but now I don't think I'll have enough money because Saturday I'm going to Baltimore for my birthday and want to have money for that even though I was told that I shouldn't worry about money I don't like people paying for everything
Chris Ryan and I are going and HOPEFULLY Jess or Julia because they BOTH bailed on me on New Years so this is pretty much the deciding factor in my decision on if I should just forget everyone back up north and focus on my friends here or if I should still make the effort in trying to remain friends with everyone back up there ... Chris not included
The only thing I like about the situation with my ex is knowing that at any point in time I can just up and say.. I wanna leave and go live in South Carolina... with ease. I stay for Chris... I have a deep attachment to him but am often annoyed at/with him because no matter how much of a bitch I am he always says sorry... Ugg I hate how he lets me treat him and I hate how I do.. It's only somtimes I never use him or take him for granted I appericate him more then anyone or anything sometimes I just hate him for how nice he is and I'm mean.. sick isn't is sometimes I hate the way my brain works
Thursday, January 1, 2009
New Years.. what else woud I call this post
This Year In Order So Far
Go home
Monday Doctor
Tuesday I.D. Name Change and Lunch with the ex unfortunately
Wed. My Birthday!!! and My New Tattoo
Thursday maybe back up here that day
Friday getting stuff together for my birthday weekend
Saturday off to B more
Sunday home from B More
Doesn't look like this year s gonna be any less ... filled with shit then last year
extremely annoyed again ALREADY
Go home
Monday Doctor
Tuesday I.D. Name Change and Lunch with the ex unfortunately
Wed. My Birthday!!! and My New Tattoo
Thursday maybe back up here that day
Friday getting stuff together for my birthday weekend
Saturday off to B more
Sunday home from B More
Doesn't look like this year s gonna be any less ... filled with shit then last year
extremely annoyed again ALREADY
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